


The Scars of Our Past

by KitKat69



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: "vent fanfic", :P, Abusive Parents, Blood, Gore, Multi, been abused, i'm taking away the 'from old fandom' cause i decided to change the story wayyyyy too much, kokichi has mental problems but hides them, like i said, mental problems, so dont complain, stuff like psychological depression, vent fanfic kinda?, which means OOC stuff, youve been warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2019-11-12 21:19:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18018644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitKat69/pseuds/KitKat69
Summary: Rantaro Amami is someone who likes to try somethings out while Kokichi Ouma likes to hide his true feelings. What will happen when Rantaro meddles into Kokichi's past? How would Kokichi react when someone finds out his past without his knowledge?





	1. Prologue: Intro to Decipher

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the prologue of a re-write!!! This is originally from another fandom that I was from! I hope you can enjoy.
> 
> WARNING: IF YOU DO NOT LIKE DEATH, ABUSE, GAY, LESBIANS, OR OVERALL ANGST! IF YOU ARE READING THIS THEN GOOD FOR YOU!!

(3rd POV)  
Kokichi rubbed his eyes. He was studying, late at night. Kaito and Rantaro walked into the room, being loud as fuck.

“Momoto-kun can you please calm down. I'm trying to study,” Kokichi said, with a sarcastic tone.

“Okay but what are you studying late at night?” Kaito said. Kokichi ignored him.

"Whatcha studying?” Rantaro said, interested.

"Social Studies. Shouldn't you be doing the same thing. We have to write a page essay on the World War 2,” Kokichi said.

'Can I show? Please please please!' He in Kokichi's head said.

'No.' Kokichi said back.

Kokichi knows better then to let that little voice to take over his body.

"Well I'm gonna turn it in late,” Kaito said. 

"Like always,” Kokichi mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No you said something. I wanna hear what you said."

"I was talking to myself."

"You do that a lot,” Rantaro pointed out. Kokichi just nods.

It’s not all the time that Kokichi talks to himself. Sometimes he’s replying to the voices in his head out loud. He doesn't let anyone figure out his secrets. But what will happen if someone figures them out when the moment isn't right.


	2. Chapter 1: He Enters (for a sec)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The voice in Kokichi's head says something only for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look im trying to come up with good titles

(Kokichi's POV)

I had both my earbuds in, listening to FFDP (Five Finger Death Punch). Their song Remember Everything. I pull my beanie down a little and push up my glasses. I flip the page on the history book I was studying. Tyler busts through the day. He says something but I can't hear him. One if my ear buds gets pulled out. I calm him down before he does something like I always do.

"What?" I ask in an annoyed tone.

"I'm having Rantaro and Shuichi over. Could you clean up a little?" He asks.

"You act like an ass to him but you want me to clean up for him? You don't clean up when Rantaro comes over," The voice makes me say. Fuck!

'Dude stop.'

'No. Fuck you.'

He starts to force pain in my right arm. I quietly whisper an ow.

"What's wrong? I'm not even touching you." Kaito asked.

"Huh. Uh. Oh. Nothing. Don't worry about it." I said, looking down.

"Okay?" He says. I hear him walk away. I put my earbud back in and start to put away my books. My playlist puts on I Apologize by FFDP.

Never understood, what was wrong or what was right. I apologize.

I hum the ohs when they came up. I heard a quietly voice and take out one earbud.

"I said, what are you listening too?" Kaito asked.

“None of your business.”

“Damn.”

There was a knock at the door and Kaito rushed over to open it. There stood Shuichi and Rantaro. I sighed and took out my headphones.

"Hey Kokichi,” Shuichi said.

“Hey, Grape,” Rantaro calls me by that cute nickname.

“Don’t call me that, Avocado.” I say, teasingly.

They started to talk with each other. I silently watch, waiting for a perfect moment to jump in.

Shuichi started talking about Kaede and how’s she doing. Perfect.

“Sounds like someone has a crushhhhh~” I teased.

Shuichi blushed a bit and shook his head.

“No. No. No. Kaede actually is dating Maki now. Which is why I actually brought her up…” He quickly explained. I smirked.

Good. Now I can tease Kaito about asking him out already.

“Ah. It’s 10:30 already?” Kaito asked, being confused.

“Yeah. I guess. We better get going. You have morning classes tomorrow,” Rantaro said to Shuichi.

We said our goodbyes and they left.

“He’s single~,” My voice rang out to Kaito.

Kaito glared at me as he went to the bathroom to change.

“SO IS RANTARO!” He screamed.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU GAY GALAXY!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woopdy do! :p


	3. Chapter 2: Thoughts and Pretzels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rantaro goes to the mall and starts to reflect while eating a pretzel!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my editor! She really helps a lot and I just want to say that she's an amazing friend who is helping me so shout-out to her and yeah!!!

(Rantaro’s POV)

Drifting back into the land of the conscious, I opened my bleary eyes and threw an arm over to where Shuichi should have been, but was instead met with more bed. Jolting awake, I look over. Gone. Figures. Morning classes are always a bitch. With thoughts of Shuichi on my mind, I sigh deeply, eyes flickering to the alarm clock.

11:57 am

Ugh. I should probably get up now. “Seize the day” and all that bullshit. Flinging my arm outward, I toss the covers from my body and pull myself into a sitting position. Hands reach up to rub against my eyes, attempting to clear my vision of the blur that decides to harass me every morning. Taking a moment to collect myself, I sigh yet again. 

“Well, here goes nothing” Rolling out of my beautiful bed that I dread to leave, I tossed on my dark green tank top and loose jeans, thinking about my next course of action. 

I could always meet with my dealer. I'll text him beforehand, arrange a time and a pla- wait. No. Stop. You said you would stop. You promised. You have your sisters back again. You have no reason to continue.

Deciding to listen to my conscious for once, I opted for heading to the mall. Yanking my phone out of it's charger, I swipe my earbuds and head out the door. Christ. That was a close one.

Hm. Stairs or elevator? To be honest, I could do with some cardio. But it is the morning and I really can't be fucked to put the effort in. Elevator it is! Slipping through the doors, I press floor one and make my way.

It’s times like this that I wish I had a car. A 3 mile walk takes for-fucking-ever when you're going slow. Oh well, at least I know I chose the right attire for this mission of an outing.

By the time I get there it had reached 1 pm. Which means that the mall is bustling with busy bodies. For fucks sake. All it took was a single step through the door before I was met with a child screaming and crying with a stressed mom trying to calm them down, a businessman arguing down the phone (he looks like he's about to throw a tantrum himself, if he isn’t already) and “edgy” teenagers walking in clusters of groups in and out of Hot Topic.

As long as i'm here, I might as well get something to eat. I tell ya, a good walk really takes it out of a guy. Turning down the music a little, I step in line for a small pretzel shop, right behind two teenage girls ranting about how someone was a backstabbing bitch. I smiled a bit, remembering how my sisters would do the same. Soon enough, my turn came around. I tugged out an earbud and ordered a large pretzel with salt and cheese.

I gave my thanks and twisted out of the line, just barely catching the vendor nodding with a smile at me. I hastily grabbed a small table for myself, and turned my music back up. You have to be quick when a mall is as packed as this one was. Actually, I was lucky to get a table in the first place.

Slowly chewing the pretzel, I began to reminisce over previous events. I thought back to last night. Kokichi was acting weird. His eyes were sharp, laser focused you could even say. He looked like he was hyper analysing the conversation, taking in every word spoken, who said it and in what context. His eyes wouldn't stop shifting between us, examining facial expressions and body language. Occasionally, I would catch him letting out slight shivers and twitches, which wouldn't be odd if it was something he typically does. He seemed… uncomfortable. Something might be seriously wrong with him. I should check.

The thought gets shaken off along with the last bite of pretzel. Tossing my trash, I have a quick look around my current surroundings. Clothing stores, food stalls, more clothing stores. Wow. There… really isn't a lot to do here, huh? Why the fuck did I decide to come here? This place is boring as hell. I sigh in resignation. I haven’t got fuck-all else to do. Might as well go back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)))))  
> see ya next chapter


	4. Chapter 3: The Assignment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi gets a new assignment and it's not what he expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its up! Its up its up! Have fun~~

(Shuichi’s POV)

 

“Okay everyone. That’s it. You may now leave,” the professor announced. Not even five seconds had passed before a stampede of students charged out the door, barely paying any mind to personal space. Sighing, I monotonously packed my stuff away. Thank fuck it’s my last class of the day. I can take my sweet time and not have jack else to worry about.

 

“Mr Saihara! I have a matter at which I need to discuss with you,” Fuck. There goes my freedom. Swinging my bag over my shoulder, I drearily trudge over to his desk.

 

“Your recent work ethic has been exceptionally impressive as of lately, so I have decided to present you with a harder case to solve. Here are the case details. Please forget about the other project I assigned and shift all attention to this one.” He handed me a bright, yellow folder labelled “Twin Case” that was packed to the brim with papers. What. The actual. Fuck. I looked up at the professor, raising my eyebrows questioningly. He just smiled and waved me out of the room.

 

Making my way out the door, I head back to my dorm. Finally, maybe now I can get some fucking peace. Reaching the elevator I figure I should get a headstart and sort through some of the data. Opening the folder to the first page, I take a look inside. 

 

**_Victims: Akio Ouma, Ichiko Ouma_ **

 

‘Ouma? As in Kokichi Ouma? Maybe it’s just a coincidence. This is a fictional case. Right?’

 

**_Cause of Deaths: Gunshot wounds in neck and heart, death by burning._ **

 

I snap back into reality by the elevator dinging, the door opening in response. I close the folder and step out, heading to my room.

 

I unlocked the door and enter to see Rantaro sprawled on the bed, earbuds blasting music so loud I could hear it across the room and his arm blanketing his eyes. I put my bag and the folder on the floor next to the desk and smirked. A great idea just popped in my head. He’s going to hate me.

 

Taking a running start, I flopped right on top of Rantaro’s stomach, eliciting a loud “OOF” punched out from his chest and causing him to whip his arm out and smack my back. Giggling in uncontrollable fits, I gave him mercy and rolled off, turning to face him. He's attempting to glare, but a smile and his own set of giggles betray his face, making for such a funny sight that I couldn’t help but laugh harder.

 

“What the fuck was that for?” He groaned.

 

“You seemed sad.”

 

“So you decided to flop on me.”

 

“Yes.”

 

He raised his eyebrows and rolled his eyes at my antics. Turning over, he caught sight of the bright, yellow folder.

 

“What's this biz?” He asked, rolling up and out of bed to look at it. I quickly move to follow him

 

“The professor decided that the assignment was too easy for me I guess, and gave me this one,” I explained. He slowly nodded and scanned the contents. It was silent for a moment as Shuichi watched his face. Eventually, he looked up.

 

“Ouma? As in Kokichi Ouma?” He questioned.

 

“That’s what I thought too but these assignments are supposed to be fake.”

 

“Is there a chance that this one isn’t?”

 

“I don’t see my professor doing something like that. It wouldn’t be like him.”

 

Rantaro stared into space and pondered for a moment before flicking his eyes back to the paper. Flipping a page, he flinched backward, his eyes widening comically. Jerking his head upward, he locked his steely gaze onto me. 

 

“Are you sure that he wouldn’t?” He spoke in a low whisper, refusing to break eye contact. Raising my eyebrow, I step forwards, attempting to see why he seems so rattled. The closer I get, the more an overwhelming sense of dread shrouds my mind. By the seconds it took for me to get there, I had already regretted wanting to know. Glancing toward the paper, shock slapped me across the face as I stared down at it.


	5. Chapter 4: Sleep?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaito goes to bed but Kokichi doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter four (4)! Other chapters should be out soon!

(Kaito’s POV)

 

I walked through my dorm, ready to scream that I was home and then saw Kokichi was asleep on the bed and decided against it. I carefully tiptoed to the bed and laid down, making sure to not disturb Kokichi.

 

_ This school is so fucking cheap. Only one bed, Jesus. _

 

I took out my phone and started to scroll through Instagram to pass time.

 

I got to the part where I’ve already seen everything and looked at the time. It’s 9:24 pm. I have morning classes tomorrow so I should probably go to bed now and have a good night sleep. Or I can go to Pinterest. I pondered for a moment. Attempt sleep, if failed, Pinterest. I turned on my alarms and plugged my phone into it’s charger. I pulled my blanket over me and closed my eyes.

 

I heard shuffling and saw Kokichi sit up on his bed. He turned on his phone and mumbled something. He got off his bed and grabbed his phone and keys before leaves the dorm.

 

_ ‘What? Where’s he going?’ _

 

I decided to get up and following. My dumbass forgot to change clothes but now I’m thanking my past self for not doing so. I slip on my shoes and slowly follow him.

 

I walk out and see him walking down the stairs. Even more confused I slowly and quietly follow. He stopped and turned to me with a harsh glare. I sheepishly smiled at him.

 

“Go back to the dorm and leave me alone,” He said in a very harsh tone. I looked down and saw flowers in his hand.

 

_ ‘When did he get those?’ _

 

“Go.” I jumped and ran back to the dorm. 

 

_ ‘What the fuck was that? What just happened? Why was he so pissed?’ _

 

I changed into pajamas with these thoughts and more running in my head. I laid down and stared at the ceiling, trying to connect the dots.

 

_ ‘Didn’t want me to follow, it's late at night, flowers, was pissed, had something new glimmering in his eyes.’ _

 

My eyes widen. Something was going on. There was a glint of something in his eyes. What was it? I pushed that thought aside.

 

_ ‘WAIT! He could be going on a date! Yeah! That’s it! I’m proud of him. Finally put himself out there.’ _

 

I closed my eyes with a soft smile and slowly drifted off to sleep.

 

I woke up the next morning from my alarm and turned it off. I rubbed my eyes and looked over to see Kokichi laying in bed, asleep.

 

_ ‘I hope his date went well.’ _

 

I thought happily as I got up and got ready for class. I apparently made too much noise cause I got a pillow thrown to my face.

 

“Shut up.” A tired voice called out. I turned and saw Kokichi sitting up straight with messy bed hair.

 

“Make me, Ouma-kun.”

 

“I fucking will.” He glared at me and I gave him a smile.

 

“Don’t you have classes today?” I asked him.

 

“Afternoon.”

 

“Well you should still get up and ready! Maybe go exercise!”

 

“Tell me to exercise again and I will have my secret organization assassinate you.”

 

“Uh-huh. Sure.” I waved at him and then ran out the door before he could punch me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See ya in the next chapter!!


	6. Chapter 5:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaito got some news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its me b-day! I got a new computer so a lot more writing is going to happen!

(Rantaro’s POV)

 

“So Akio died by the gunshots, right?” I asked, hanging upside down on the bed. Shuichi was sitting on the floor. He nodded.

 

“One in the neck and the other in her heart,” He explained. He flipped another page of the document. 

 

“Ichiko?”   
  


“Died by the fire. Though looking into details, she had been hit in the head with something. From the x-ray scan, something close to a metal pipe or metal baseball bat.”

 

He started to bite on this finger, clearly focus on the paperwork.

 

“Any signs of drugs or mental illnesses?” I question.

 

“Akio was known for smoking marijuana. There isn’t anything about any medical issues. Hm. That’s weird. All hospital visits stop after Ichiko was 7 and Akio at 12,” He explained. I ponder. There is still one thing that was on my mind.

 

“Ouma-kun never talks about his past,” I said. The room went silent for a second.

 

“Yeah but we can’t just ask him about this.”

 

“Well no shit but we still have to do something. We can’t just lay around and do nothing.”

 

       “I know but how?”

 

       “Slip it in. Like,” I thought for a moment, “we could mention families and talk about that and then ask about his and act like we don’t have a clue.” Shuichi looked at me dumbfounded and then thought about it for a moment.

 

“If he lashes out on us, I’m pinning all of this on you,” He said, trying to give a threatening glare. I laugh quietly.

 

Our phones suddenly ding and we go and check them (i'm tired)

 

**Spaceman:**

_ Hey! Anyone up to hang out? _

 

**Grape B*tch**

_ In class, dipsh*t _

 

**Dectectiv**

_ I’m open _

 

**Avotaro**

_ same here _

 

**Spaceman**

_ Awesome! We can meet at my dorm. _

 

We got up and grabbed out shoes. I took a glance at Shuichi. From the look on his face I could tell that he was thinking about something. He then started to smile.

 

“You’re smiling? Why?” I asked. A light red came over his face.

 

“N-Nothing. Don’t worry about it,” He looked away. I chuckled lightly and we walked toward their dorm. It was on the same floor as on so I didn’t have to worry using the elevator.

 

We reached Kaito’s dorm room and knocked. No less than three (3) seconds later the door was open to see a clearly happy Kaito. Shuichi gave a small wave.

 

“Come on in!” Kaito rushed us in. He seemed eager to say or do something. We came inside, confused on what was happening.

 

“I’m actually glad that Ouma-kun isn’t here cause I need to tell you something about him,” Kaito explained once we got settled in the room. Him and Shuichi was on the bed, Kaito sitting on the edge and Shuichi laying down with his legs off the edge. I was sitting on the floor, in criss-cross way. I gave Kaito a questioning look.

 

“I think that Kokichi may be dating someone.” Kaito smiled like he just flew to the moon. It was obvious that he’s been wanting to tell us for awhile. The room goes silent. It may have been for like 5 seconds but it felt like 5 minutes.

 

_ Kokichi? Dating someone? I should be happy about that. Right? _

 

“Amazing right?!” Kaito’s voice pulled me out of my daze. I quickly nodded, forcing a small smile.

 

“W-Wait. Where’s your proof that Ouma-kun is dating someone?” Shuichi wondered. Kaito then starts to explain what happened a night or two ago. We both listened intensely. The evidence wasn’t that solid but it still was enough to guess that.

 

We started talking about other things. Anything to be real. We barely noticed when Kokichi walked in.

 

“HEWWO!” We heard him scream. We all jump, Kaito looked like he was going to punch him. Kokichi did his famous laugh. We had to catch our breaths.

 

“O-Ouma-kun. We love you. We do, but please don’t do that again,” Shuichi explained. Kokichi laughed a bit harder, making me chuckle.

 

“Sooooo what are you guys talking about?” Kokichi questioned.

 

“Anything and everything! Wanna join?” Kaito said, excitingly. Kokichi looked like he pondered for a moment

 

“I’m going to take a shower first.”

 

“Okay! Don’t fall!”

 

Kokichi nodded and then got some clothes and headed to the bathroom. After he left, the room was silent.

 

“What would happen if he slipped and died?” Kaito said suddenly. We suddenly bursted out in laughing.

 

“Well hopefully that doesn’t happen,” I commented.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See y'all in the next chapter!!


	7. Chapter 6: Shower Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was Kokichi doing in the shower? The answer may shock you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE TRIGGER WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SELF HARM. IF YOU ARE UNCOMFY PLEASE TURN AND READ A DIFFERENT FANFIC CAUSE THIS FANFIC IS BASED AROUND DEPRESSION AND SELF HARM/SUICIDE.

(Kokichi’s POV)

 

I shut the door behind me and take some deep breaths. Once I turn on the fan and light on, I calm down a little. Today hasn’t been the greatest of the days. Let’s just say, classes fucking suck and nobody likes me. 

 

**Maybe some pain would make you feel better?**

 

I thought for a moment.

 

_ Should I really do this? What would happen if they found out? _

 

**If you cut your thighs they won’t see anyways. And if they did, they’ll be disgusted. They’d help you but they wouldn’t want to.**

 

I listen to the voice in my head go on. Behind the door I hear them laughing. 

 

**See. They might’ve made a joke about you. They don’t really care about you.**

 

I took a deep breath and got off the door. I go to the place I hid my razor. It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten it out. I’ve been snapping rubber bands on my wrist instead of cutting. I pull it out and set it inside the shower for later use.

 

I fully get ready for the shower and step in once it’s at a good enough temperature. I let out a long, loud sigh.

 

_ Was this really the right choice? I can always back down right now. _

 

**But you’ve planned it and all. There’s no point of stopping here.**

 

I hated that voice. It picked at me. All it did was call me crazy and give me bad thoughts.

 

**Maybe once you’re done making yourself bleed, you could make others bleed. You should start with Rantaro.**

 

_ No. _

 

I picked up the razor and sat on the floor of the stand-in shower, my legs stretching out.

 

_ One should be enough. _

 

**Or twenty.**

 

I let a tear roll down my face as I push the razor into my skin. I slowly let it glide, watching beads of blood peak out. The stinging starts as the water hits the wound instantly. I let out a shaky breath and do it again. And again and again and again.

 

I looked at the finished product. There was exactly ten cuts on each leg. Every time blood escaped it was washed away. It stung.

 

_ There’s no point in staring anymore. Let’s just finish this shower. _

 

**“One should be enough” looks like you did do twenty.**

 

I ignored the voice and started to wash my hair.

 

I finished the shower and got out. I grabbed some tissues before grabbing my towel and pressed them against my wounds. You can’t let them soak through you clothes. Once that was finished and I was done drying off I put on my clothes and walked outside to my room.

 

Shuichi and Kaito where on the bed, asleep and cuddling. I didn’t see Rantaro.

 

**He left you.**

 

“Boo,” a quiet voice rang in my ears. I jumped and punched whoever was behind me in the stomach. I turned, ready to strike again, and saw Rantaro now on the floor clutching his stomach.

 

“New rule: don’t scare Ouma-kun,” Rantaro grunted out.

 

“That shouldn’t be a new rule,” I explained.

 

“But it was fun.”

 

“You enjoyed getting punched. I’ll gladly do it again.” I smirked widely and put my finger to my mouth. Rantaro looked directly into my eyes.

 

“Please don’t,” He whispered out. I laughed.

 

“But seeing you in pain is sooooo fun!” I turned my smirk into an excited smile.

 

“New topic: Momota-Kun and Saihara-kun.” Rantaro instant changed the subject.

 

**Oh wow! You do want him dead.**

 

_ Shut up. _

 

I inverted my eyes to the lovebirds in the bed. Kaito was laying on his back and Shuichi was cuddling against his side. Kaito also had one arm around Shuichi and the other was holding Shuichi’s hand.

 

“Where’d I put my phone?” Rantaro asked, getting up and looked for his phone. I walked over to the dresser and grabbed my phone, pulling up the camera and snapped some shots.

 

“Blackmail,” I whispered. Apparently Rantaro hear it cause he chuckled.

 

“Fuck I lost my phone,” he said. I went through the pictures.

 

“Well then I guess it sucks to be you,” I said. “I’ll send you the pics. I guess I’m sleeping on the floor tonight.”

 

“You can come sleep at my dorm. Since Saihara-kun is here.”

 

“Hmmmm. Sure why not. This should be fun~” I grabbed some new clothes and my phone charger.

 

“Ready?” Rantaro asked. I nodded, letting out an ‘mhm’ sound. “Alright let’s go.”

 

We walked out and I made sure to lock the door behind me. We made it to his dorm and I instantly flopped onto the bed and snuggled into the sheets. I heard Rantaro chuckle.

 

“Having fun?” He asked. I let out a loud hum. I heard him chuckle. “I’m gonna go change, be right back.” And with that he left.

 

_ Hmmmm. I’m bored. _

 

I looked around the room to see if there was anything I could do. A sudden idea popped into my head.

 

_ Rantaro is going to hatttteeee me. Or laugh his ass off. Who knows. _

 

I got up and looked around for a green marker. I started to draw small avocados all over his stuff. I glanced over and saw a yellow folder. The reason it caught my attention was because it was so bright. I walk over to it and read the label.

 

_ No _ .  _ This has to be fake. Ouma is a common last name. It has to be. _

 

I flip it open and the first thing I see is my sisters name. With widen eyes I slammed it shut. My breath became unsteady. I hear the door handle start to move and I quickly covered my tracks up.

 

“Ouma-kun? What are you doing?” I heard Rantaro ask behind me. I was leaning down and drawing them on the desk. I turned my head back to look at him.

 

“Oh I’m just drawing,” I replied and went back to drawing. I heard footsteps come from behind me and a smile.

 

“What if I don’t want these drawings?”

 

“Then perish.” I look at him and smile, innocently. Rantaro laughed and muttered something under his breath. “Hm?”

 

“Oh! It’s nothing! Just talking to myself,” He said defensively, rubbing the back of his neck. I look at him weirdly.

 

“Welp! I’m tired,” I announced and hopped onto the bed. I heard him chuckle. He turned off the lights and climbed into the bed with me.

“Goodnight, Amami-chan~” I teased. There was a moment of silence.

 

“Night, Ouma-kun,” He said, his voice dripping with tiredness.

 

I got under the blankets and made myself cozy. At least 20 minutes past and I’m nearly asleep and then I hear it.

 

“If you only knew the truth.” Rantaro’s voice softly said. I wanted to turn around and ask him what he was talking about. But instead I laid there, not knowing what to do. He probably thinks I’m asleep. I felt him shift but I couldn’t tell which way he turned.

 

_ Fuck it _

 

I turned my head only to see his figure. I let my eyes adjust and notice that he’s facing me, eyes closed. I release the breath I didn’t know I was holding and smiled in relief. I turned my body to face him and closed my eyes, letting sleep take over my body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Can't wait for you to read the next chapter.


	8. Chapter 7: A Confession and a Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pairs wake up at noon with the beautiful outside. What will happen after a few words with each other?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to another chapter. I actually had the motivation to complete this one and work on the next.

(Shuichi’s POV)

 

I feel my body slowly become awake. I felt someone’s arms wrapped around me.

_ Kaito? _

 

 I fluttered my eyes open. I look up to see Kaito staring down at me. We both blush and look away, me probably blushing brighter.

 

“Uh, mornin’ Shui- I mean Saihara-Kun,” Kaito greeted.

 

_ Leap of faith? We have known each other for a while. _

 

“Morning, Kaito,” I said, smiling. Kaito smiled back, softly.

 

“So what do you want to do today?” He asked.

 

“I kind of want to stay in bed for a bit more.”

 

“Shuichi, it’s 12:35…” I snuggled into his chest.

 

“Mmm. Don’t care.”

 

“We should go find Ouma and Amami-Kun.”

 

“We will later.” I heard him sigh and he pulled me closer.

 

“You naggy little sidekick.” I gave a small chuckle. We stayed like that for a while, enjoying the silence. I nearly fell back asleep until a phone dinged. Kaito and I groaned. He reached over and grabbed his phone. After a good three minutes, Kaito groaned again.

 

“Sorry, Shuichi. I have to fill in for someone at work. I was hoping to spend my day off of anything with you and the others. Or just you,” Kaito explained, saying the last part quietly. I huffed.

 

“At least you’re getting paid. I only get paid in education,” I complained. Kaito chuckled and pulled away from me. He got up and got dressed, while I stared at him the whole time. Once he was finished he gave me a kiss on the head, making me a blushing mess.

 

“S-so are we actually something? We do stuff like this a lot and I don’t know how you actually feel about me and,” I started to rant and talk quickly, playing with my fingers. Kaito pulled me into a hug.

 

“If you want to be something, I’ll be more than happy to date such an awesome sidekick like you,” He said, softly. I hug him back tightly. 

 

“So then it’s official?” I felt Kaito nod. I smile and hug a bit harder before releasing him. “Now go to work.”

 

“Oh yeah! Bye Shuichi!”

 

“Bye!” 

 

He slipped on his shoes, grabbed his keys, and walked out the door. I hide my face into my hands, blushing deeply. I let out a small scream.

 

_ Okay okay. I need to go change and take a shower. _

 

I got off the bed and put on my shoes. I didn’t really care about my hair at the moment and just walked out.

 

Once I reached my dorm, I unlock and open the door quietly. I smile at the sight I receive once I walk in, closing the door behind me.

 

Rantarou had his arms wrapped around Kokichi and Kokichi had his arms on Rantarou’s chest. Basically, they were cuddling. With a small laugh, I pull out my phone and take a picture. I walked to my dresser and pulled out some clothes to change into.

 

I heard Rantarou shift around in the noisy bed. I turn to look at him. He slightly groaned, rubbing his eyes. He noticed the position he was in and just smiled softly. I chuckled a bit, grabbing his attention.

 

“Oh hey, Saihara!” He called out, trying to blow off what was happening.

 

“So how was your night?” I joked a bit. He chuckled.

 

“Good! How was the cuddling?” I blushed brightly.

 

Kokichi started to stir awake. His hand slightly twitched and eyes opened slowly.

 

“Morning!” Rantarou and I said. Kokichi groaned and snuggled into Rantarou’s chest. We gave out a small chuckle.

 

“I’m going to take a shower,” I announced and then went to the bathroom.

 

I undress and step in the shower. I sigh as the warm water hits my back. I twist my head around, letting my neck crack some and then washed my hair.

 

Once I was finished showering, I turned off the water and grabbed my towel. As I was drying myself off; I heard loud voices. I tried to decipher what they were saying but it was mostly muffled.

 

“You shouldn’t ….. NOT YOUR…” That was Kokichi’s voice.

 

“I’M JUST …. LET ME….WE...” Rantarou’s voice was louder. 

 

I lean my ear on the door.

 

“Just leave it alone!” Kokichi yelled, followed by a door slam.

 

I quickly get dressed and walk out. I saw Rantarou on the bed, hands in his hair. I put my dirty clothes in the laundry basket and sat next to Rantarou. He loudly sighed and looked up at me.

 

“He knows. He wants us to stop the investigation and you to just, turn the assignment in as unsolved,” he said, voice wavering.

 

I look down and bite my lips.

 

_ So this is his past… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave kudos or comment if possible. It helps me a lot. Also, side note, for those wondering; Kokichi's mental illness will be shown later on (next chapter a bit) so just wait until then! :3


	9. Chapter 8: Kaito Finds Out a Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaito comes home from work to a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza! Two Chapters in one day. I'm very tired. Here you go!

(Kaito’s POV)

 

_ Finally back home after a long day at work. _

 

I thought to myself as I open the door to my dorm room. I looked around and noticed a small lump in the bed.

 

_ Oh. Kokichi’s back. He’s probably sleeping. _

 

I quietly go to my nightstand to plug my phone into its charger. While trying to plug it in, I dropped it on the hardwood, creating a small but loud bang.

 

Kokichi shot up and looked to the side, breathing a bit unheavy. He looks at me with worried eyes and then past my shoulder.

 

“Hi-ya!” I greeted.

 

“Hey, Momota,” He replied. His eyes slowly peeled off from behind me to actually looking me in the eyes. “Didn’t want to wake up to your idotic face…”

 

“Hey! I’m not idiotic!”

 

“Says who?”

 

“Says me!”

 

“That doesn’t make sense!”

 

“Yes it does!”

 

“Idiot.”

 

“Rat.”

 

Kokichi stuck his tongue out at me, so I stuck mine outback. He did his evil giggle as I plug in my phone. When I look back at him, he’s glaring at the door. I brush it off.

 

“I thought you didn’t have classes today?” Kokichi questioned. 

 

“Work called me in today. Where did you sleep last night?” I replied.

 

“Amami-chan’s room. How was cuddling with Saihara-chan~?” My face heated up.

 

“Uh, It was, um, good I guess…” I scratched the back of my neck, looking to the side.

 

“Nishishi~! Just good?”

 

“Y-Yeah! Stay out of this!”

 

Kokichi laughed. I sigh loudly and sit on the bed. I check the time.

 

_ 9:47 _

 

I yawn and stretched, letting my arms come down a bit harshly. Apparently, I hit Kokichi cause he yelped in pain. I turn to him to see if he’s okay. He’s holding his wrist his chest.

 

“Uh sorry, dude. I thought I hit your head,” I explained. Kokichi shook his head.

 

_ His wrist shouldn’t hurt by that though… _ __   
  


“Ouma, can I see your wrist?” I asked in a worried tone. His eyes went wide before returning to normal.

 

“No. That’s stupid. Do you have some weird wrist fetish?” He answered, more defensive than usual.

 

“I don’t but a wrist shouldn’t hurt from a small bump.”

 

“Well the small bump was hard and it hurt.”

 

“Ouma…”

 

“Momota.”

 

I grabbed his wrist and looked at it. My eyes widen and he wiggles in my grip. I let go.

 

“Oum-”

 

“No! Just shut up!” He was clearly angry and held wrapped his arms around him, glaring harshly at me.

 

“I’m sor-”

 

“No!! I don’t want to hear it. Just forget about this.” He laid down on his side, facing away from me. I stared at him.

 

_ I should tell Amami about this… But would that make Ouma just hate me more? _

 

I look at my lap.

 

_ Maybe Shuichi? They’ve been friends for a long time. He’d know what to do. _

 

I grab my phone and pull up Shuichi’s messages.

 

**Shuichi <3**

 

**I need to talk to you.**

 

**About what?**

 

**Ouma**

 

**What’s wrong? What happened?**

**Did you guys fight again?**

 

**Sorta…**

**Can you meet me outside the dorm building?**

  
  


**Sure. See you in five.**

 

**See ya.**

 

I turn off my phone.

 

“I’ll be back,” I told Kokichi. He waved me off.

 

I slip on my shoes and grab my phone. I head downstairs to the front of the dorm building.

 

When I get there, Shuichi is already waiting for me. He heard me walk to him and looked up from his phone.

 

“What happened?” He asked right away, worries flooding his eyes.

 

“Ouma is harming himself,” I answered. Shuichi looked broken for a moment.

 

“Fuck.” My eyes widen a bit.

 

“That is the first I’ve heard you cuss.”

 

“It’s the last too. Sorry. Things happened today. Just,” Shuichi ran his hand through his hair, “don’t worry about it for right now. But could you please keep an eye out for him. Please.” I smiled softly.

 

“I will.” I pulled Shuichi into a hug and petted his hair. He hugged back tightly. I placed a small kiss on his head and he pulled away, smiling sweetly.

 

“Thank you, Kaito.” He leaned up and kissed me. I kissed back until we had to pull away. “You should go check up on him. He might be feeling worse now that you know and don’t want anything bad to happen to him.” I nodded, understanding.

 

“Okay. Goodnight, Shuichi.” I gave him another kiss and then went back to Ouma.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	10. Chapter 9: The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ranatarou has feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THIS CHAPTER HAS SMALL MENTION OF DRUGS (yes Rantarou is a stoner)

(Rantarou’s POV)

 

As soon as Shuichi left to meet up with Kaito, a tear fell down my cheek. Confused, I wipe it away.

 

_ Why am I crying? Is it cause Ouma doesn’t want to talk to me anymore? That he might just end up ignoring me. _

 

His words rang through my mind.

 

_ “This is personal and you don’t need to know?” He questioned me, with an angry look. God, why did I have to bring it up? _

 

_ “Cause I worry about you and if this is real…” I trailed off. _

 

_ “So what if it’s real. It doesn’t change anything about me.” _

 

_ “But it’s something you should talk about to someone and get help with.” _

 

_ “I don’t need help!” His voice got higher.  _

 

_ “I just want to help!” _

 

_ “You shouldn’t help! IT’S NOT YOUR PROBLEM!” A single tear rolled down his face. I don’t know if he was crying from frustration or sadness. _

 

_ “I’M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU THROUGH THIS! LET ME ATLEAST TRY!” My voice unknowingly screamed. _

 

_ “I DON’T WANT YOU OR SHUICHI TO HELP!” _

 

_ “WE JUST WANT TO HE-” _

 

_ “Just leave it alone!” His voice lowered. He then whispered and lowered his head, “Just leave me alone.” He stormed out, slamming the door. I sigh loudly and sit on the bed, putting my hands in my hair. _

 

When I’m brought back to reality, tears are falling down my face. I quickly wipe them away. I didn’t want Shuichi to come and see me sobbing. I turn off the desk lamp and get into my bed.

 

I laid on my side, eyes wide open. I can’t sleep. How does someone sleep after that?

 

_ “Just leave me alone.” “Just leave me alone.” “Just leave me alone.” “Just leave me alone.” _

 

_ I can’t. I can’t leave you alone, Ouma. You mean so much to me. I can’t just let something like this go. Gosh, I’m such an idiot to even bring it up. I need to relieve some stress. _

 

I sit up and hear the door open. 

 

“Saihara?” I call out.

 

“Yes?” His voice answered.

 

“Just seeing if it was you and no one else.” He laughed a bit.

 

“That’s a bit suspicious. Were you expecting someone else?” I hear him walk over to the desk and he turned on the light. I flinched and close my eyes tightly, re-opening them soon after.

 

“I promise I’m not trying to be suspicious. I wasn’t expecting someone. Though, I was about to text someone.”

 

“Ouma?”

 

“No… Dealer.”

 

“I thought you were trying to quit.”

 

“I was but the stress got to me a bit.”

 

“You shouldn’t, Amami-Kun.”

 

“I know…”

 

“Try drawing or write out your feelings. It’s what I do when I’m overstressed.”

 

“Thanks, Saihara.” I smiled and he smiled back, waving off the thanks. I get up and walk to the desk and pull out my computer. I hear shuffling behind me and then someone sink into the bed.

 

“Don’t stay up too late. You have classes tomorrow,” Shuichi warned.

 

“Afternoon classes but I won’t. Just, gonna write some things down,” I assured.

 

Shuichi ended up going to bed and I ended up writing five (5) paragraphs. I check the time to see how long I stayed up.

 

**_2:35 am_ **

 

_ Shit _

 

I stood up and stretched, yawning. I turn off the light and walk over to the bed, slipping in. I close my eyes in an attempt to sleep but flashes of Kokichi’s anger flooded my body. I sigh loudly and start shifting. I found it impossible to get comfortable. After a long while, I finally fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short and I'm sorry about that, I just want to move on to Kokichi's POV and I didn't know what else to write for Rantarou's POV.


	11. Chapter 10: Attempt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaito tries to cheer Kokichi up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait! School started so I haven’t had much time!

(Kokichi’s POV)

 

I groaned as I felt someone shaking me awake.

 

“Wake up! I’m gonna help ya!” Kaito’s voice boomed throughout the room.

 

“Momota, I don’t want help.” I pulled the covers over my head.

 

“Too bad! You need to work on yourself and I’m going to help you!”

 

“I swear to god.” 

 

“Don’t give me that glare!” He pulled the covers off of me. “C’mon! Get up.”

 

I sighed loudly and swung my legs over the bed, sitting up. I glared at Momota as he laughs.

 

“Why do you need me up?” I asked.

 

“Cause! You need to cheer up! Let’s go do things today!” He explained.

 

“Classes?”

 

“You don’t have classes today and neither do I.”

 

“How do you know that?!”

 

“Stole a look at your schedule. Now go get dressed! I’m gonna call Shuichi and Amami to come with.”

 

“Dont! I don’t wanna deal with Amami…”

 

Kaito raised a brow. “Did something happen?”

 

I stayed silent. “Just don’t.”

 

He nodded and picked up his phone to call Shuichi. I stood up and stretched. I walked over to my dresser and picked out my usual outfit. 

 

_ I don’t want to deal with this today.. _

 

“Alright! Shuichi is coming over in 5! You ready?”  Kaito said.

 

“Yep!” I decide to put up my usual lies and face.

 

Kaito didn’t reply. He seemed lost in thought. I stare at him in curiosity.

 

_ I wonder what he’s thinking about. _

 

Just five minutes later, Shuichi is at the door. Kaito opens it with a wide grin.

 

“Hey! You ready? We ain’t stayin’ in this room, so let's go!” Kaito shouted and then practically dragged us out.

 

After a shit ton of guesses, Shuichi and I figured out that he was taking us to the public  observatory. It was very obvious cause the way Kaito was acting and how he wouldn’t shut up about it’s grand opening a week ago. 

 

We finally reached the entrance of the observatory. Kaito was obviously excited and Shuichi had a soft smile on his face. I just simply sighed and walked in with the two flaming homosexuals.

 

After walking around the place for a good hour, Kaito finally noticed that I was not having a good time.

 

“This is legit a date place, I don’t want to third wheel you guys,” I complained. Kaito sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

 

“Let’s go work out then!” Kaito suggested. My eyes widened and I groaned louder. My body is not fit for work outs.

 

Before even either me or Shuichi could say anything, Kaito dragged us out of the observatory and to a gym that was close by.

 

“Momota-Kuhn, I swear to god if you make me work out I will make my organization hunt down everyone you love,” I snarled out. Kaito looked offended.

 

“Kaito… Ouma-San isn’t feeling any better from this. I think it’s best if we just let him do his own thing,” Shuichi reasoned.

 

“I-... okay… Let’s go to the dorm room, yeah?”

 

For once in my life, I agreed with the dumbass.

 

After a long fifteen minute walk, we make it back to the dorm rooms. We open the door and who is there.

 

Rantarou fucking Amami.

 

“I’m going,” I turn on my heels but something grabs the back of my bandana.

 

“Wait, Ouma-San..” Shuichi’s voice was in a soft whisper. I didn’t want to but I did stay.

 

I heard Kaito whisper something but I wasn't able to figure out what it was. Then Shuichi and Kaito left where it was just me and Rantarou.

 

I walked over to my bed and laid down on it, pulling out my phone to play a random food cutting game. I heard shuffling around the room and then someone sitting in the bean bag chair next to my side of the bed.

 

“Ouma-Kun…” his voice called out. It sounded so broken. I just shifted further away from him. I didn’t want to talk. I never did want to talk about my problems or my family.

 

“We really need to talk about this, Ouma.”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about. Leave me alone.”

 

He sighed loudly and then said something I never wanted to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nishishi~!

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. More to come once I finish editing!!


End file.
